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Follow the yellow book road

A very tiny man with a very yellow bag just dropped off a very useless package to our office. The bag had not one, but two Yellow Books inside. I reckon (reckon? thank you thesaurus.com) that anyone with internet access would never need to use one (or two) of these old timey yellow “books” of yesteryear. I know that there are people out there without internet access, but they don’t live/work in River North.

Yellow Book’s website (which is printed all over it’s cover, probably fast-forwarding it’s doom) doesn’t contain any information about opting-out of delivery.

So we’re stuck with these monstrosities.

During the last few hours I’ve spent with these books, I’ve discovered some things that they are good for.

1. Deception: While sitting on these babies I become half a foot taller and much more menacing to potential attackers.

2. Organization: It works really well as a file folder. I mean, it’s already alphabetized.

3. Subtraction: There are some seriously useful coupons in the back of these things! Thirty dollars off a chimney cleaning!?!? I’ll take it!

Shoot, now I need to buy a chimney. Stupid telephone books.